My time at St Jude Mountain Retreat I cannot say enough about my time at St Jude. When I arrived there, I had made a complete mess of my life... I was doing coke and pills like crazy, stolen from my parents, lied, you name it. This was the first place I had ever gone away to get help from. I got the opportunity to step back, evaluate my life, my choices, my mistakes. Working first with Joe and then with Holly made me take responsibility for things that were going on with me, and figure out what I wanted to do going forward as well as what I didn't. As for the program, I can only give my opinion/observations as like I said, I had never been to a rehab, etc so I have nothing to compare it to- I thought the food was decent, not a hugely great selection for a vegetarian (at the time) there was always a salad bar, but because it didn't get used as much, the stock wasn't circulated, I got bad cheese one time, etc. I enjoyed the interaction with the other guests immensely, but I did not agree with the fact that people could just show up to class when they wanted. Perhaps its the rule-follower deep down inside of me, but I felt it took away from my experience to see others sleeping in and coming to class and being disruptive and asking questions when they missed things they shouldn't have because they were sleeping. Also, I felt there was favoritism amongst the staff, and it killed me to see some of them be manipulated the way they were!!! You would think staff members who are used to dealing with guests who are master manipulators and liars would not be so easily played for a fool. For example, I became close friends with another girl while there, and was only so-so with my roommate. when she and I asked to live together, she was made to live in my room (the smallest double in the house) while my former roommate got to move into one of the largest doubles by herself. I was then asked to move again to accommodate other guests coming in, with less than a week to go in my stay, while my former roommate still got to live by herself, in a huge room, all because she had buddied-up with staff and was going to stay on additional weeks (and continue to pay). I know many factors are involved with the way the program is set up- when you arrive, who arrives when you do, etc- but I know I was in a group that had 4 other people because we all arrived at the same time, while one person that came in by themselves ended up getting individual attention and classes simply because she was the only one that arrived in that particular few days- I feel I could have really benefitted from one-on-one counseling, and I paid the same amount of money as that girl or my former roommate who got a huge double room to herself for 5 of the 6 weeks. On the other hand, both of those individuals are still lost with their lives not together, so maybe in the long run it didn't matter. I loved the outings, the shopping trips, the "beach" being so close by...and some of the people I was there with I still talk to on a nearly daily basis. When I got home, I stayed clean for about a month, then started doing drugs again.... I never really got to the point I had been, but I got pretty bad off. Honestly the biggest change to my life was getting pregnant with my daughter- I got pregnant 9 months after I left St Jude and it completely changed my outlook, my life. I am gainfully employed, pay my bills, and am present with my child... I also really, really like the person I have become, and I have no problem looking at myself in the mirror every morning. Even though I know that becoming a Mommy and responsible for another human was the biggest factor in my life changes, I cant help but know that the education and self awareness I got at St Jude gave me the foundation- not trying to blame my issues on addiction, becoming aware of my own decision making (good and bad) and having to face the consequences of those decisions. I had some amazing conversations with Holly about my childhood and my father and my issues with him and she really helped me to see things in a different light. Overall, my experience was incredibly positive and I hope that St Jude continues to do great work with others.

I am living my life When my family confronted me with the fact that my drinking was out of control I said I could handle it myself. They persisted and I went to St. Jude's. At first I was wondering how did I end up here? After a week or so I dug my heals in and concentrated on the program. On me. On what I was doing to myself and my family. Six weeks later when I went home I felt lighter better more centered. That was less than a year ago. Since then I have traveled to Tahiti ,become a great grandmother, watched a granddaughter graduate from high school, move to a beautiful condo on the ocean, and within a year I will celebrate our 50th anniversary with my husband. Yes I have a lot to live for.

I AM NOT DISEASED My name is Shawn, I am an ..... Wait wait wait. Let me start over. My name is Shawn I am not diseased. I am not powerless, I am not out of control, nor have I ever been. Now just to let you know before I got here I would not have said these things because I totally fed into the diseased mentality. Completely believed I was powerless. I prayed and prayed everyday for God to remove my obsessiveness and defects to no avail. Now if you're one of those closed minded people like I was you may be thinking, well if you really worked the program you would stay sober. To those I will say I went to 180 meetings in 90 days. Three and four meetings a day. I worked the steps to the best of my ability more than once. I still had the desire, and believed it was up to God alone to relieve me of the obsession. Now I know the truth. Now I know I and I alone am responsible for my decisions. I chose to drink and drug and until I faced this fact nothing or no entity was gonna save me from myself. realizing the power is mine, that my success is in my hands, is so freeing and empowering. I can change myself from the inside out. I can control myself and my thinking, How depressing it was to think one little can of cold beer would make me drink thirty more. I am not weak. I am powerful but had been brainwashed otherwise. My happiness and my life are mine to make whatever I want to out of. I have total confidence in myself thanks to Saint Jude Retreats. The best most productive years of my life lie in front of me. I cant wait to show people that I can succeed on my own.

A refreshing alternative to the 12 Step Treadmill! In an arena that is dominated by the methodologies of AA/NA and their faith healing approach for overcoming drug and alcohol dependencies, it's nice to know that there are resources available that forward the notion that one can effect positive changes in their lives through education, cognitive changes and a lot of hard work and determination. While I have not personally been a client of St. Jude Retreats, I've had the pleasure of speaking with several members of their executive staff as a result of having published my book on the subject of addiction, "The Freedom to Recover". While our views on what works and what doesn't may not be 100% in alignment, they are pretty close. I've read over all of their course materials and have yet to come across a "program" or in-patient setting that offers anywhere near as comprehensive a game plan based on logic, self empowering ideas and real life approaches to addiction. Drug and alcohol addiction, or as I prefer to refer to it, dependency, is NOT a disease that requires lifetime "recovering" but rather, is a condition that one can overcome and put in their past. At least that is my view and one that St Jude Retreats embraces as well. Regards, Rolf Ankermann.

Positive Transformation Go here first! The Freedom Model should be taught in grade school! This is a truly positive program that can transform your life! I look forward to it's continued expansion. For me this has been the beginning of a whole new way of life without fear and dread. There is also no longer any need to rearrange external circumstances to try and make me feel in control. Life can flow and I can flow with it and still accomplish everything that I need or want to do.