I AM NOT DISEASED My name is Shawn, I am an ..... Wait wait wait. Let me start over. My name is Shawn I am not diseased. I am not powerless, I am not out of control, nor have I ever been. Now just to let you know before I got here I would not have said these things because I totally fed into the diseased mentality. Completely believed I was powerless. I prayed and prayed everyday for God to remove my obsessiveness and defects to no avail. Now if you're one of those closed minded people like I was you may be thinking, well if you really worked the program you would stay sober. To those I will say I went to 180 meetings in 90 days. Three and four meetings a day. I worked the steps to the best of my ability more than once. I still had the desire, and believed it was up to God alone to relieve me of the obsession. Now I know the truth. Now I know I and I alone am responsible for my decisions. I chose to drink and drug and until I faced this fact nothing or no entity was gonna save me from myself. realizing the power is mine, that my success is in my hands, is so freeing and empowering. I can change myself from the inside out. I can control myself and my thinking, How depressing it was to think one little can of cold beer would make me drink thirty more. I am not weak. I am powerful but had been brainwashed otherwise. My happiness and my life are mine to make whatever I want to out of. I have total confidence in myself thanks to Saint Jude Retreats. The best most productive years of my life lie in front of me. I cant wait to show people that I can succeed on my own.

I am NOT Powerless I had believed that I was an alcoholic for 29 years and would always be an alcoholic. I believed that I had an incurable disease called alcoholism and that my anxiety caused me to drink. Once I took a drink I was powerless over alcohol and unable to stop. I thought only God could “restore me to sanity”. What I learned at St. Judes is that is simply not true. Learning about the true scientifically proven facts of human behavior I have been able to change my way of thinking. My drinking was a behavior that I could change. Once free of being a victim of alcoholism I was able to focus on the true issues that troubled me and impeded me from living my life in true happiness. I have found ways to direct my thoughts and actions towards long term life changes that will support me throughout the rest of my life. Everyone has the power within them to make these changes. One simply has to want to make these changes and then do the work to define and reach long term sustainable goals that support this happiness. The staff at St. Judes provided the environment, information and guidance to make this shift in my thinking. The St. Judes Executive Retreat was a comfortable and safe environment for me to "retreat to" so I could work on myself without the interruptions of daily living (unless I chose to). The environment, the house and the staff were all friendly, caring and supportive of helping me to help myself. St Judes is like no other program available that I am aware of. I experienced a paradigm shift that has changed my life forever. Maybe I would have eventually stumbled upon this change but going to St. Judes sure made it easier.

St. Jude Retreat Amsterdam, NY I had the fortunate privilege of being a guest at St. Jude Retreat in January of 2014. I had tried multiple times in a 12 step program and it just didn't click. Conceding to the mentality as a victim of a disease in which I had no control just didn't make sense to me. I was in a weakened place in my life and I really didn't think trashing my past was going to be what it took to turn my life around. I went to St. Jude and found that the program was very empowering. The program allowed me to figure out where my standards were and where I wanted them to be. Getting clean was going to mean changing my attitudes and my focus, finding things of value in my life and focusing on them. The program at SJR was valuable in showing me that my personal choices affect my life. Being aware of that allows me to be an active participant in the direction my life takes.

Positive Transformation Go here first! The Freedom Model should be taught in grade school! This is a truly positive program that can transform your life! I look forward to it's continued expansion. For me this has been the beginning of a whole new way of life without fear and dread. There is also no longer any need to rearrange external circumstances to try and make me feel in control. Life can flow and I can flow with it and still accomplish everything that I need or want to do.